She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You ate ashes out of my bong
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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