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I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
