I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
no, he came in my armpit
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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