she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
