That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
