Having a random hookup so left but love u
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
