She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
