Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
