I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
