you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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