Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
