Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
