All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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