You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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