i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
