The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
