We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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