You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
