drinking out of a sandbucket again
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
this is an emotional support booty call
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
