im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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