what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Text me some of your sweat
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