I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
