If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
