he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
