NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
