He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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