just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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