So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
