i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
There's even glitter on my cock...
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