Yo dont text me then not text me
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
i think i just lost a toe
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
