that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
