I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
