We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
