Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
