I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
