i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
