My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
