I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
