You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
