They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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