Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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