I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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