Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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