i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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