You work out of a Hotel?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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