we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
