I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize