According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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