I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
