So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
